A long week again...

As I am finishing up another day here at work, I've reflected on how LONG my days have been recently. They have been REALLY long and drawn out. I can't explain it much other than saying, "They are long enough and slow enough for me to almost stop breathing." I just might have stopped breathing two times today...:) But it also have given me plenty of time to reflect on life and where I am...and where I want to go. I am blessed to work with some dear friends of mine who I can talk about life with. My "twin" at work and I have a lot of "life" talks. Today we talked about marriage and the hopes and dreams of it all.

I learned yesterday of a dear friend of mine who lost a close friend of his. My heart just sank when I thought of the loss that he is experiencing. We never know what we have until we loose it. Isn't that the unfortunate thing. I've lost a few friends and a parent over the years and it just makes you stop and think of the impact they had on your life. Was it positive? Was it negative? And then in turn I think...did I impact their world at all? It makes me think of the song, "Lifesong" by Casting Crowns. What a powerful song. Does your lifesong sing to God? Whose name is written at the end of your day? I want God's name to be the signature at the end of my time.

I have to tell you about the man named Brad that I met over the weekend. His friend flew him down here to help pack and move his family back to Ohio. Well, on Friday night he went out and got wasted then woke up in someone's back yard without his shoes on. When we awoke, not knowing where he was, got up quickly and left. He was so disorientated. He smelt of alcohol and was dirty and had no shoes. I noticed that there wasn't even a pair of shoes next to where he was sitting. I thought to myself, "I'm sure he's got a pretty interesting story." Well, next thing I know he followed me into the laundry mat and asked, "Ma'am, may I ask you something?" "Sure," I responded. He proceeded to tell me his story and was embarrassed to not have his shoes at all and didn't even have a clue where they were. He asked if I would purchase him a pair of sandals from Wal-Mart so that he could walk back to his friends house. I agreed. So I took off and purchased a pair of sandals & a t-shirt w/$5 he gave me. On the way back I returned w/McDonald's as well. I thought, the least I could was feed him as well. He was blown away at the generosity and kindness. He said, "You must be an angel. I am not a bum or a bad person, I just made some stupid decisions that got me her." I reassured him that we put our pants on the same way and it could be me in this situation. I was blessed to be able to give to him and what a blessing he was to me in disguise. I had the opportunity to pray for him and bless him...something that I will never forget about it. When he asked me how he could repay me, I challenged him to pay it forward. He promised he would. So Brad, if you ever find this blog, remember our conversation and always remember to pay it forward!

I'm out...Beckster

Dinner w/a friend is like reading a good book...

I had dinner last night w/a pal of mine that I have known for a long time. However, we've never gotten together outside of church. What an incredible time we had together getting to know each other and sharing "life stuff." I am just amazed how having dinner w/a friend is like reading a really good book. SIDE NOTE: I've only been a true book reader for 7 years now, but dang it was like reading a really good book. We shared parts of our hearts and lives that ministered to the other...and we found comfort in the fact that someone else knew exactly what we are going through. Isn't it crazy...that sometimes it takes us getting out of our hectic schedule to sit with an acquaintance and somehow that person quickly becomes a good friend. Another God blessing in my life!

Thank you for sharing what you shared with me, friend...it is an honor to be your friend. I love you..."warts and all." That's something my friend Jean says...love ya Jean! I'm glad that God loves me, Warts & All! :)

Psalm 19:14- "Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in thy sight. Oh Lord, my strength and my redeemer."

Reflecting...

I sit here today in a reflective state of mind. Thinking about all of the wonderful memories that I made in Cusuna over the past 6 years. Can you even believe that I have been traveling to Cusuna for 6 years? Weird, but awesome. I have loved each trip. I think about Nessie, a girl that I met on the 1st trip there and have connected with each trip since. She was 4 years old and was wearing a cute purple dress. Now she is 10 years old and even more beautiful. She loves Jesus and wants to be an astronaut when she grows up. And then there is my friend Diani...what a special gal. She & I have been friends since that first trip as well...although it has taken her much longer to speak to me. She is VERY shy and a woman of few words. She is 22 years old and has a 7 month old daughter named Ashely. Both ladies are gorgeous and a blessing to me. My friend Belkin and her family are near and dear to my heart. Belkin is the friend who washed my clothes for me every Wednesday while I lived there for 3 months and I watched her kids. I specifically got really attached to Adrianna. She's my girl and I call her mona, which is monkey in Spanish.

Well, today I have cleaned out all of my letters from Honduras and read through most of them again. Some brought tears and others brought laughter. I am keeping a few special ones to cherish, I just need to get them in a book of some sorts so they aren't just loose papers. We'll see.

On an extremely random note, I might go see Rent tonight w/Sean (my cousin). How cool will that be...we'll see.

I've GOT to get to work now...LATER!

BB

Here, but not home

So, here I am...back in Tampa and at work today, Monday, July 6. It is with such mixed emotions that I sit here. My heart longs for the day when I am back in Cusuna, Honduras. I feel like God spoke a lot to me while there about what I am going to be doing for the rest of my life...it's all very exciting and crazy and overwhelming all at the same time. But, my heart is at peace about it and just find myself praying and asking for God's guidance for each next step.

My entire trip cost...$1,500. My time there...priceless. I can't even begin to explain how alive my heart and spirit feels when I am there. To serve God in such tangible ways by loving on people and sharing the love of God with them, is AMAZING. From the moment that we entered the village, "Becky! Becky! Becky!" I was reunited with tons of my friends and family there. I was able to see 11 of the 12 girls that were in the mentorship program. 6 of which had babies...my heart just broke. They are now 14 (4) & 15 (1) and 22 (1) years old and if nothing is done about it will be a mom in Cusuna for a lifetime. Not that that is a bad thing, but they dreamed for more. One dreams of being a pilot, another a teacher and another a computer programmer...but now they have a child to look after. And because of their social structure, they are not married nor do they have the necessary support needed for them to continue their education. I want to change that reality for them...I just don't know how to do that just yet. Some of the sweetest moments were walks on the beach with each of them or talks we had walking from the church to the mission house. They just look for someone to believe in them, guide them and encourage them along the way. I believe in each of them and want to help them attain their goals in life. My friend Diani, such a special friend, made a world of difference in me. She is the 22 year old that now has a 7 month old girl named Ashley. What a cutie pie! Diani, known in the village as Simpatica (not a nice nickname), is severely bow legged. It is painful for her to walk, but as a matter of practicality she has to. It is extremely difficult for her to walk while holding her child because of the balancing that she must continually do so she doesn't fall over. It breaks my heart. I am going to work hard and see if there is a way (there has to be) to correct her legs.

We were able to get A LOT of work done on the fish farm...HALLELUJAH! We've got a ways to go, but are so thankful for all that was accomplished.

Just can't wait to post pics to share the experience with you...it was amazing!

Love you tons and can't wait to share more with you,

Beckster